Lunachick (tylerdurden521) wrote,
Lunachick
tylerdurden521

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so what difference does it make.....

the new skin.... livejournal's new look... it's a bit bizarre... but whatever....
i really could care less just didn't know how to start this semi-forced journal entry.... not that i mind.... sometimes you (i) need to be forced into things... and then there are some things that seem to just kinda fall into place...
one freaky right-on horoscope, one week ago (actually last saturday's).... one night holding on pause... pushing down feelings that were making me tingle... i haven't tingled in a long time.... i didn't expect any of this...
people really do (can) change... i think the both of us are significantly different now then we were almost 3 years ago... and maybe that seems like a "duh" kind of statement... but it's not.... time is such an impossible puzzle... for something that is constant... it's so damn inconsistent.... time drags and time flies.... 8 years ago this time i was going out with cathy.... and having a mad crush on dave.... 8 years! holy shit.... that's a long ass time ago.... i mean for someone who is twice my age... maybe eight years isn't quite as much... but as a 27 year old human.... 8 years is a big chunk of my life.... i'm glad that dave and i have re-established a friendship of sorts.... funny how it took him moving all the way to buffalo for this to be accomplished.... my relationship with dave will always baffle me.... but whatever the case may be.... i hope that i will always know him and what he's up to.... he's a good guy.... anywho.... back to my point.... people can change a good deal in only a few years...
kris called me tonight and we were talking about this exact thing.... she said something to the effect of... "it's amazing how people can love certain people at different points in time" that's not what she said... but it was something like that.... like how people are just ready at different times and sometimes after it's all over you still have that place in your heart for them but you don't really know them anymore.... but they keep that little piece.... it's all very poetic indeed... :::::: smile :::::::
i'm not sure if i said i loved her hands last night or just really liked them... but i totally love those hands.... not sure what it was but i was mesmerized watching our hands intertwined.... i feel like i could stay in those moments for hours...
blue eyes..... also mesmerizing... everything is so fresh and new yet so familiar and comfortable.... there is a passion there.... potential for immense intensity... the possibilities are endless... i love just being in her arms... i love that it seems we are both more willing to listen to each other then ever before... that i have matured enough to not always be right.... to admit when i'm wrong.... to have the patience i lacked.... it just feels like there is such a potential for great growth for both of us... maybe i'm crazy.... i don't know....
i can barely keep my eyes open right now... and i want her to be on so i can chat with her for a bit before bed.... even though she basically dismissed me for the night when we were on the phone earlier... ::::::: smile :::::::;
i have moments of insecurity... but i squash them as best i can.... i'm afraid of investing my heart.... i think i've been afraid of it for quite awhile actually.... but i feel like i want to try with this one.... perhaps i am losing my mind.... or perhaps i am simply changing and growing....
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